Ever since Scotland Yard's new 'zero tolerance' policy on cocaine and morphine use, I don't dare have anything to do with them! Tell Lestrade the butler did it or something, but DON'T LET THEM IN.
Seconds? Gee thanks, Mr. Bumble!
I've got a better idea: instead of telling each other stories on the road to Canterbury, why not sing songs? Ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety nine bottles of beer...